Such High Hopes.

I was inspired to write this post the minute I came across this picture. Here's the story on my heart today.

You know those times when you just feel overwhelmed in life? When all you can think about are the things that aren't going right? When you spend all day consumed with that one thing that you just can't seem to gain control of? When you push everyone out because it just seems easier that way? When everything + everyone just seems lost to you?

Welcome to the lovely state I've been living in. To be honest, this is all very difficult to admit, because it sheds light on my extreme selfishness + self absorption. But, ugly as it is, it's where I'm at and it only frees me more if I let it all out. So here I am, talking about it with the hope that this might encourage some of you + lighten my load a bit.

It's funny to me that although I know the only true source of hope is found in God, I seem to run to my girl friends for comfort over + over again. Lucky enough for me I have awesome friends that remind me where to look.

The other day I went to lunch with one of my girls to vent + receive the warm pats on the back that I was so desiring. You know the kind; they seem to tell you that you're not alone +that it's ok to wallow in your misery because you deserve acknowledgment that you're so tough for sticking in there. I was on a mission to get those warm fuzzies.

Instead of getting the overly sympathetic response I was looking for, I got a strong slap of wisdom straight to the face. And for that, I am thankful. Within the first 5 minutes of our conversation, I realized that I was not the only one in pain. She is experiencing one of the most heart wrenching trials of her life. Her burden is heavy. But instead of just sitting + allowing us to dwell in the negativity, she opened up her Bible to this passage and blew me away with the gift of hope. Read this verse below...

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls." 1 Peter 1:3-9

Woah. Re-read that again! (Slower this time) I love the part that talks about how our trials + suffering here on earth should be celebrated. Celebrated? Rejoice in this crap? Doesn't sound a bit like what I've been doing lately...I've been too busy feeling sorry for myself. What a waste!

This scripture tells s to rejoice because the hard times are proving our faith genuine. If we can come through them and keep our focus on serving God + honoring Him, our faith will never perish. It will never die! I keep thinking over and over again about that last part- even though I haven't physically seen Him with my own eyes, I believe in Him. That belief brings me a crazy, deep, and unshakable joy. That kind of joy that makes you lose your appetite, makes you want to talk about God all the time, makes you want to spend hours hearing from Him, and that makes you home sick for heaven. The kind of joy that makes you feel a little crazy...in a good way.

There's nothing like the hope of heaven. It can bring me through the deepest sorrows, because I know that when everything on this earth is gone- He remains. And I get to spend eternity with Him. He's given me that gift + no matter what happens...the Joy from knowing that resides so deeply in my soul. My home is not here + I thank God for that. I know that all that's been lost will one day be found again when I am home. I am so happy right now, it's ridiculous. In the midst of my sorrow, there is a deep and intense gratitude I feel, because I know that it is making my faith stronger than before. Woah, that's about as honest as it gets and now I am feeling a lot better. Mission accomplished.

phew. I'm tired now.

xo,

cole